To the Parents of the Conservative Movement,
It seems,
from my perspective, you are losing your children. The people who told you that
the way you were raising them was the best way, if you continued to raise them
this way everything would turn out perfect and your children would never repeat
your mistakes, now tell you, you must not have done it right, or your children
rebelled and the world lured them in.
I ask,
as one of the lost children, that you would take my words and listen to them.
Ask the Holy Spirit if my words hold truth and be willing to place your pride
on hold. I may only be a child but I have the boldness of Christ, I am not to
let anyone despise my youth, and is it not out of the mouth of children and
infants that the strength of God will be told? Do you not have to become like children
to understand the kingdom of God?
This is
a letter from my heart, and I will speak in it without apology. You, our
parents, have been lied to. You are not responsible for the souls of your
children. There is no mold, no fail proof seven steps that will make you the
perfect husband, wife, parent, Christian, teacher, or your children the perfect
children.
We will
repeat some of your mistakes, and this is okay. No matter where we walk, God is
big enough, strong enough, He has our backs. You can trust your children with
God, He will not leave us nor forsake us even if we forsake Him. We need to be
taught how to fail, because we are human and we will fail. We need you to
expect us to fail and be okay when we do. We need you to be so confident in God
in us that you can be free to allow us to make massive mistakes, and know we
are safe because our God has us. This is a terrifying thought, but the God who
parted the red sea, the God who turned water into wine, and fed thousands with
one meal, is jealous for our hearts, He isn’t about to let us go. Nothing can separate
us from the Love of God, not any created thing, including ourselves.
The desire
to please our parents and our God has been built into the very fabric of who we
are, our hearts of stone have been destroyed and replaced with hearts of
flesh. We want to do what is right we
want to make you happy. Only problem is no matter how well we do, no matter how
good we are at Christianity we never reach your standard, or if we did, we were
never told we did. We became frustrated believing we would never be good enough
for you or for God. We’ve tried and tried often times ruining our physical
health attempting to be good enough, spiritual enough. When we burnt out we
quit, sometimes because we were so emotionally, spiritually, and physically
burnt out it was impossible for us to continue on, and some of us because we
wanted to. We jumped ship, some us because we wanted to, because we simply
refused to try any more, and some of us because we simply couldn’t continue on
any more.
Most of
us do not love you or God any less, although some of us hate you and God
because from our point of view we gave you everything and you threw it back in
our faces because it wasn’t enough. Some of us understand that you simply didn’t
want us to repeat your mistakes; you are as human as we are and we understand
this. We, however, are responsible for our own souls, for our choices, and for
our own relationships with God. Some of us have found God, a different God from
what we were taught about growing up. We’ve found the God of the New Testament,
the God who loves us with abandon, whose grace covers all, who likes watching
us figure out life even if we fail at times. In fact, when I had a conversation
once with Him about a particular failure He gave me this picture—the picture
was of a kid putting together a science project, refusing help. Amused the
father stood by, tapping a stranger on the shoulder and saying, watch this, it’s
going to be hilarious. The experiment blew, leaving the kid shocked, surprised
with hurt pride, the father thought it was the best thing ever, and the kid was
suddenly willing for help. My pride was hurt that He might get amusement out of
my failure, but the point was that what was a catastrophe for me was totally
handled in His world, I do not have to be afraid. Perfect love casts out all
fear after all.
Christ
said a lot of things, most of what He said heaped more commandments on an
already burdened people, trying to make them realize they couldn’t do it so
they would be ready to accept His sacrifice. There is one thing He said right
before He died, that we would be known for our love for one another, and a new
commandment was given to us Love one another as He loved us on earth. We need
to be so confident in your love, as your children, that when we fall to the
lowest of low, you are the people we run to; you are the people who have the
chance to show your love and hold our hearts. There is no one at a better
advantage to see our faults as you, but the reverse is also true there is no
one at a better advantage to see your faults as us. Fathers do not set your
children’s teeth on edge, if you expect us as adult children to listen to your
correction listen to us when we point out your faults. Whoever humbles himself
will be exalted. If you humble yourselves and set aside your pride to listen to
us, we will exalt you. Your authority will not be compromised or less because
you admit your faults.
Let us
go. We grew up being taught about George Washington being 16 and surveying all
over the known and un-known new world, we were taught about Mary Slessor, and
others all single, all young, leaving their parents, starting their own life
and following God. David left his home and became a part of a murderous band of
men, Daniel was conquered, Joseph sold, Deborah a woman judge of Israel, none
of them had their parent’s and God did not forsake them. Let us go. If you
force us to stay in your home under the guise of staying under your authority,
we will end up despising you, we were designed to want to explore, and
discover. Let us go. Father’s do not provoke your children to anger. If we go
somewhere you don’t approve of and it doesn’t turn out well for us, we will
come back to you, just like prodigal son we will return, but only if we are
confident of your grace. No one wants to return to a parent they know will be-little
them after they have fallen as far as they possibly can.
History
proves that children will not believe what their parents do. My experience
teaches that the some of the only children who believe what their parents do
are the parents who loved with abandon, who gave grace, and trusted God with
their kids. What I am asking of you isn’t easy, what I am asking is impossible
for you. However, what I am asking of you is not impossible for Christ and I
firmly believe He resides inside of you completing His good work till the day
of Christ Jesus. Even if you don’t agree with me, even if you and your children
never have relationship because you refuse to let God have them, I love you, I
trust God with you. This is going to be a good journey.
A Daughter of the King Who Takes Responsibility for Her Own
Soul,
Leto Granger
